The Electric Codpiece

  • June 8, 2023

Going really fast is very illegal.

In fact, so is going even a little faster than whatever the speed limit is.

EV people ought to think about this a little.

In many states, anything much over 80 can land you in jail – and your vehicle in the impound lot. Even 1 MPH faster than whatever the posted limit happens to be in every state can result in what is styled a “ticket” – the term used to describe the money you’ll be obliged to hand over for “speeding,” defined as driving even 1 MPH faster than whatever the government says is lawful.

But EV people – many of them – like (and buy) EVs specifically because they are fast. Or rather, because they can accelerate very quickly. This attribute is also usually the first one touted by the company that’s trying to sell the EV. It can get to 60 in 2.9 seconds!

This is very quick, indeed.

But what is the point of this capability, if you can’t use it – or dare not? Is it not like the codpieces worn by Medieval nobility to showcase what they weren’t using?

Are these people aware that accelerating from 0-60 in less than three (or less than 10) seconds is considered “aggressive” by the very same government-corporate nexus that is ardently pushing people into EVs? If you doubt this, ask anyone who drives for a living. Their acceleration (and also braking) is monitored as they drive and if they drive too aggressively, they are likely to get into trouble with their employer.

Who, in turn, will get into trouble with the insurance mafia – with whom he is obliged to deal by the government, which forces him to buy “coverage” under terms and conditions set forth by the mafia. The mafia does not like aggressive acceleration – or braking. It “adjusts” the rates it charges accordingly. Employers now routinely keep track of how their drivers drive for just that reason – and the vehicles they drive can be controlled for the same reason, too.

The same will be applied to the EVs people buy because they are attracted by how quickly they accelerate.

After enough people have bought in, that is.

In fact, they have already bought in. They just don’t know it yet. It’s not just EVs, either. Every 2023 model vehicle has some form of “speed limit assistance technology.” It isn’t optional. It is part of the standard equipment package, so to speak.

People might want to think about this a little.

It is called different things by different manufacturers but it is all the same thing. It is a “technology” that enables the car to know not only what the speed limit is on the road you happen to be driving on but whether you are driving faster than it says you legally may. When you do, it “assists” you by warning you, via an icon that looks just like a speed limit sign that changes color from legal white and black to angry red.

Think about what’s implicit in this.

The car knows you’re “speeding.” How long before you are fined for it? Keeping in mind that it’s not just the car that knows. Potentially, the government-corporate nexus knows it, too. All new cars are “connected.” They send and receive data about all kinds of things. Including – potentially, at least – exactly how fast you’re driving at any given moment.

Monitoring is already happening.

Of your speed. And how aggressively you accelerate (and brake).

Think about how the people behind all of this will define that. And how they will justify restricting it, once a sufficiency of people have been lured into EVs.

Actually, it’s not necessary to speculate because we already know. Once again, ask anyone who drives commercially. They get into trouble if they accelerate the vehicle they’re driving at a rate that’s more aggressive than a Galapagos tortoise leaving the starting line. This is why you have probably had a delivery vehicle ease out in front of you from a side street and proceed to gradually accelerate. Or found yourself stuck behind a pair of tractor-trailers, one in the left (passing) lane, the other in the right – the one in the left lane “passing” the other for the next 15 miles.

Don’t blame the drivers. They don’t want to lose their jobs. Just understand you’re next.

Controlling velocity and acceleration – whether by limiting  or by automatically/electronically fining – is just a matter of the doing. And that is something that can and will be done to you – if you drive something new – essentially anytime they like, the technology having already been embedded in new and thus the ability to impose do it already fait accompli.

Meanwhile, these EVs – which people are being lured into not objecting to by dangling their ability to speed – and accelerate aggressively – in front of their faces. In order to take their minds off everything the EV doesn’t have the ability to do – or does poorly.

Eventually, once a sufficiency of people have bought in – it will be discovered that “ludicrous” speed and “aggressive” acceleration are bad for the climate, via causing the “emission” of excess “carbon.” The EV driver will find himself codpiecing along in a ludicrous vehicle that struts but doesn’t do.

It is the equivalent of tricking a dog into eating a pill by stuffing it into a piece of hot dog. The dog doesn’t notice what he’s swallowing because he’s focused on that yummy piece of hot dog. The difference being the pill is probably good for the dog – and the dog’s owner means well, at least.

. . .

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